Shooting from the mouth: Wanderlust Column by The Lovely Tami Ryan
Is it wrong that somehow the fact that I am going to be exchanging lunch meat at the grocery store at some point today makes me feel more adult than the fact that I am going to be done with graduate school in a few months?
***
Well, this has definitely been my longest lapse in column writing. Though I suppose the nineteen odd years that comprised my life before I had a column is really the longest period of no column writing. I can't believe how busy the last months have been. My first year of graduate school I only had to spend like three days a week even in the same town as my school. Now, I can barely stay away from the place. Anyway, I got approved to have my thesis show this semester, which means graduate school is at an end.
I've left the preceding paragraph sitting for about two weeks now. I was about to take it in the dire direction of my Baltimore-inspired environmental depression, but I've been mulling it over. Nate ("World's Best Boyfriend"), Ollie ("World's Best Dog") and I are headed to VA Beach tonight for Valentine's Day (Hmm... this column is a tad dated - Ed.). So in the spirit of things, and in the spirit of approaching spring, I've decided to switch gears and talk about vacations...
I think the fact that my parents were both born at least a thousand miles from where they would spend most of their lives may have something to do with my unstoppable interest in getting in the car and going someplace else. I'm sure it didn't hurt that the first few vacations with my parents that I remember were all "road trip" style. We drove from Virginia to Texas one summer. I could never sleep in the car when I was a kid, and I rarely do now. I would stay up as long as I could, especially if we were driving all night. My dad told me recently that on long car rides at night, he could always count on looking in the rear view mirror and seeing me awake with my eyes gleaming. I didn't want to miss anything by going to sleep. I still don't want to miss anything.
On the family trips we always decided what to do as we went. Of course, my sister and I would've wanted to stay in Orlando the whole time for the Florida trip, but once Mickey was out of sight we enjoyed choosing again. You never knew what you might find along the way, especially if you were driving past South of the Border. I think my dad told me you can get married there, but I'm not entirely sure I'm not just imagining it. A quick check of South of the Border's website (www.pedroland.com) does say something about 20 "heir-conditioned" bridal suites but nothing about performing the ceremony. I guess I found the fact that someone might honeymoon at South of the Border just as disquieting as actually getting married there and smudged things around mentally.
It's unfortunate that sometimes trips can go so horribly wrong. That band trip we took when I was in the ninth grade was pretty grueling. Our symphonic band was invited to play at this pish-posh conference because of getting the highest score at some competition. Believe me, it probably was not any thanks to me. We had to ride on the bus for about nine hours and then no one could take warm showers or make phone calls because every member of the band was trying to shower and/or call home at the same time. Not too many people showed up at the conference either. God this is just making me think of how much I hated getting tuned, I was never in tune. My big trip in high school with my friends ended in nearly everyone not speaking to everyone else. I got in a fight with my best friend, and at least two other friends. It's not too much fun going to a theme park and not even wanting to ride the rides because you'll have to sit with someone you're angry at. I guess the teenage years just aren't a good time to travel with other teenagers, unless you're looking for something dramatic. Since the end of my teenage years, trips have gotten better all around. I've got to admit that my sister and I can still tear into each other after being in the car for a while, despite our advancing years.
Good or bad, a trip encapsulates time in a way that can't happen in everyday life, much in the same way photography does. You remember the things that happen within the boundaries of your vacation in a way that would be impossible about a question like "when did we buy these coffee filters?" Maybe it's greedy, but I want more of my time encapsulated and less forgotten to routine. I'm thankful for the fact that Nate and I got together on a trip, and for the fact that visits with my parents are "trips" now, and especially for the fact that Nate is willing to indulge me (most of the time) when it comes to heading for someplace else. I want to remember everything. I want to sear it all into my brain.
***
So I've started student teaching at a local private middle school. I've only been there two days so far, but ninth grade boys seem a lot more moody than I remember. I guess I didn't really talk to any boys in the ninth grade though, so what do I know about it?
Since I'm about finish my schoolin' I may have a teaching job of my own pretty soon. This seems pretty odd to me. I had a lot of teachers that were totally oblivious to the sort of things that could have humiliated any student in their class to death. They were unabashed whether they'd sat in something that left a ridiculous stain on their pants or overzealously reading the "sexy" parts of the novel aloud while seemingly getting all hot and bothered. Yeah, Mrs. Huff, that last part was about you, everyone remembers how you liked to read that stallion metaphor portion of the book. I think I'm still too self-aware to not be humiliated by things that would usually be humiliating. It may have had something to do with the fact that the aforementioned teachers may have all had kids, because I'm certain that strips away a lot of ego in terms of dealing with situtions like standing in front of a class when you have giant pit stains. Some of you may remember that speech teacher from one of my old columns who was comfortable enough to graphically discuss his own sexual past (after showing a "film" he starred in with this sexual partner). Of course, I think he was committed to an institution...
In any case, I'm sure that student teaching is going to be great in terms of understanding the mood cycle of ninth grade boys, as well as becoming less embarassed about the possibility of a lot of my underwear showing if I have to squat for some reason.
***
To Do List:
1) Watch travel movies: Sideways, Natural Born Killers, Thelma and Louise, The Motorcycle Diaries, About Schmidt
2) Look for the new Cracker Barrel cheese sticks at the grocery store! Avoid the cheddar flavor mozzarella cheese sticks.
3) Stop buying shirts that suggest other things might be for lovers other than Virginia (I will accept "condoms").
